Dark Secrets
by Inu's cutie
Summary: What happens when frienship turns to love and love turns to obsession and obsession turns to insanity?


_Chapter 1_

She never knew what went on inside my head. She never knew the deep desires of my heart and mind. I always showed her as much of me that I wanted her to see .I hide behind a mask, you could say to her that I was always a regular guy, to her I was her best friend. And true I was, but she thought that my actions towards her were out of friendship, what she doesn't know was that changed a long time ago. The reason for my actions changed as the dark desires of my mind began.

We have been best friends since we were very little, at that time I was only thought of her as the cute little girl that I would play with and considered my best friend. As time went by, we grew and soon we entered middle school. That's when I found myself looking at her in classes just simply studying her movements. At that time I didn't see anything wrong, I mean after all she was my best friend. As time went by she changed both mentally and physically, and I of course didn't fail to notice now I wasn't looking at her in classes I was **_staring_** at her in classes, I seemed to capture each of her movements careful and I found them all beautiful. As the years went by I noticed that my eyes were not the only things reacting to her , soon I felt parts of my body reacting to her and images going through my mind that were not things that I should be thinking about my best friend. I started to anticipate the moments she was close to me and when she wasn't I wanted her close and when she was I wanted her closer. For moments I scared myself, which was understandable I was young I had no idea what was happening to me. So I decided to separate from myself from her for awhile thinking it would help me, well I was wrong she was beginning to be a plague in my mind, she was everywhere I went, she haunted my dreams and had control over my body's actions. I noticed it was wrong separating myself from her especially when she came crying to me saying why I was staying away from her and if I didn't consider her my friend anymore. I knew from that day forward that I couldn't runaway from her or from these feelings. So I trained myself to hide my desires, in a way I created a mask, a mask that hide the real me and let her see the perfect friend that she wanted to see. She was too innocent to notice anything, to innocent to notice my lie.

I congratulated myself for this, my mask hide my secrets, my dark secrets. I could admit now that I thought myself crazy, I figured this out sometime ago, I mean I've have to be parcally insane to think half the thoughts that go on in my head.

I have many secrets one darker than the next, each secret eating up my mind slowly and creating a world of illusions that feeds on the thoughts of her, my beautiful torment, my deep obsession, my key to insanity.

Yes, that is one of my secrets but I guess you could have figured that out, it is my obsession over my best friend, my uncontrollable want over her, my insane love over her actions. I thought of her as mine and only mine , in my mind she didn't need anyone else but me, she could smile just for me , she could laugh just for me , she could be happy just for me. I welled up with jealousy when she smiled at someone else or when something else would bring laughter to her voice or when something or someone would make her happy that was not caused by me. And when she was sad it made me mad, no mad was an underestimate it made me pissed beyond words. I felt this blinding rage inside of me that made me want to kill, destroy the very thing that brought a frown on her face. But my mask showed something different it showed my understanding and my support. She would sometimes cry and tell me what was wrong, but she didn't know that this only boiled my anger more and more; I hated it with a passion to see her cry! I hated it when tears would stain her beautiful blue eyes. Sure she cried most of the time because of regular family problems, but every time she I could not help but feel hatred for the people called her mommy and daddy.

My obsession over her is just one of the little dark secrets I have, of course my other secrets are in spite of my obsession over my best friend. But they keep coming and the time my other secrets began was the time that I found out that I was truly out of my mind. It was when we started high school by that time I already developed a fairly strong mask and fooled those around me into believing what my mask showed them, my second personality. Deep down I think I could have been the boy that I showed through my mask if I hadn't met her, that's why I think it's so easy for them to believe that I am what I pretend to be. Anyways as we entered a new world called high school things began to change and this time not for my liking. I noticed that after a few months in our new torture chamber that my angel, my Kagome was starting to get the attention of other people and by other people I mean other boys. I noticed them looking at her with longing looks in their eyes. I saw them continently coming up to her and randomly talking to her or as I saw it randomly flirting with her. This boiled my blood, set me into a fit of insane jealousy, every time one of those bastards would come near and supposedly woo her with their charm. Oh how I wanted to kill them to rip them with my claws limb to limb. Every time I saw them looking at her my demon instincts went haywire, my vision went crisom promising death and pain to those that stood in my way. Some how though I managed to control myself in front of her but that didn't stop me from planning horrible deaths for them, late at nights when I was in the sanctuary of my own room. But those stupid idiots never got past the simple flirting I made sure of that. Every time one of them that would try to talk to my Kagome, the next morning they would find themselves severely hurt by a most unfortunate accident.

The real problem started though when this idiot of a boy actually asked her on a date behind my back, but what made it worse was that she accepted. This was what broke the last bit of sanity I had left in me. I could not sleep at night thinking that this so called Hojo would take what was mine. I hated him more than I hated anyone in my life, I think it is pointless to say how insanity mad, enraged, jealous, aggravated, frustrated, I was because at this point there were no words to describe how I felt. I had reached the point of complete insanity. So I did what an insane person would do, I spent nights planning it, on how I would get _rid _of this Hojo once and for all. In the end I did come up with something, something that will get him out of my way for good. It was exactly the day of the date that I called Kagome to tell her I wanted to go to her house before she went on her date, she as expected agreed, but before I went to her house I went by Hojo's house and paid a visit to his car, where you could say that I accidentally disconnected the cord on his car that allowed his brakes to work. After that I went over to Kagome's house where she was already ready for her date.

She looked gorgeous, absolutely stunning. It still made me mad as hell that she dressed up like that for that asshole. Ha! But I knew that he would get what he deserved. So I waited paicently with my mask still held firmly on my face. It took some time for my Kagome to realize that stupid boy was not coming. I was practically leaping with joy, but I had to control myself when I saw the sad look on her face. Oh how I had to muster every ounce of strength in my body not to give into the temptation of leaping into the air and shouting out to every one how elated I was that a good for nothing son of a bitch was out of my way for good. But I had to swallow down my happiness and console her, her first date had supposedly just ditched her, she didn't find out till three days later that he had been in a car crash that had left him in a coma, and the best part was that I was here playing the part of the perfect best friend, that unknown to her only brought her closer to me.

She did not notice that every action that I did some how entangled her more in my web of passion and love that I had for her. Yes I love her, I have loved her since the age I was old enough to actually be **_in_** love with someone, but I am also afraid of her , afraid of her rejection , afraid of her looking away from me and to never more see me adoration she has for me as a best friend. But slowly and steady this feeling that I have for her has consumed me, to the very point that I am now so far consumed in my love that it turned to obsession and then obsession turned to insanity. Sometimes I feel so drowned in my mind, in my love and obsession for her, that I feel that I can not breathe, that I'm suffocating in my own illusions, the same illusions that I created in my mind, illusions of her. I have tried to stop to turn away from her and see her as she sees me as a best friend, god knows that I have tried every humanly way possible or in my case every half-humanly way possible, but no matter what I do or what I _try _to think she will not go away from my mind for a second, she's in my blood , no she is part of my blood, I think seeing her every day is what keeps my blood coursing through my veins, she is the cause for my every breath, she is my drug , my addiction. So I gave up I let myself well up in my illusions, my blissful fantasies, hiding from the world my true self, my true desires, but there was now a problem a problem that would if not stopped would turn in to a big problem.

My so well trained mask was slipping, it was slowly breaking, I had grown tired of hiding behind shadows, I found myself thinking more and more how would it all be without the mask. Because nothing is kept a secret forever and my mind was betraying me it was letting out the thing that I feared to be let out the most, my true self. I knew this day had to come that one day my mask would fall and I would be bare to all those I lied to , but I didn't care about the others , I cared about her and only her the other people seemed unimportant compared to her. I knew that one day she would know, like I said the truth is not always kept a secret.

After what happened with Hojo , guys tended to stay away from Kagome thinking she was cursed or something because surprisingly every guy that went up to her got hurt and if they even tried to ask her out would be promised with a near death experience or death it self. But their was always an idiot that's not with the program and decides to play prince charming in my case his name was Kouga. Being the idiot that he was he didn't get the sings that were obviously in his face. He came up to my angel right in front of me and started flirting with her and actually managed to ask her out. I was practically shocked beyond believe I was rooted to the floor and no sound came out of my mouth, no words correctly rolled off my tongue. But as fast as shock came anger came to surface and it didn't help one bit that she accepted his offer. Why don't these idiots see that she belongs to me and that who ever comes near her that I do not approve is as good as gone. He certainly had a death wish and that was exactly what he got. I have had enough with these people it was time to deliver a final blow that was sure to keep all the guys away from my Kagome , and this wolf demon Kouga was my main target, this final blow was going to be embedded in every guys mind that my girl, my Kagome was off limits.

It all went smoothly everything went according to plan, it was the day of the date and I like before decided to pay a visit to my victim's property this time I chose his house. There as silently as ever I booby trapped the stairs, I tied an almost invisible rope that even Kouga's demon eyes could not see. Lucky for me Kouga was not there at that moment he had not come home yet. After I was satisfied with my work, I went to pay my little Kagome a visit.

Oh how I wanted to laugh, I mean how could not find it funny and slightly pleasing that after a day or two after Kagome's date didn't show up for unexplained reasons, some one called to her house and told her the real reason, that Kouga had been ready to go meet her for their date when he "accidentally" took a tumble down the stairs and on impact broke his neck and died instantly. Kagome when she heard the news burst out crying, I myself wanted to laugh, my deed was done, when I had said the final blow I had meant the final blow, no looking back and absolutely no regrets, the lesson had to be learned one way or another, and if it wouldn't have been Kouga it would have been another and if they still failed to notice what I was trying to get through there thick brains, well lets just say that they better make a whole lot more room in the cemetery.

After this little incident no one came close to her and this pleased me immensely, but through all she seemed sad, which she didn't need to be she had me and that was all she needed, me and my love. Slowly with a caring voice and fake intentions of friendship I convinced her that the other people were the ones with the problems and not her. She did eventually cease and came to only find refuge in my arms. I spoke softly to her soothing words, a sweet lullaby in her ear that told her to trust me, that she had me and only me. With this unknown to her she fell into my spell, my trap that she would never escape. She gave me her soul blindly and let me guide her not knowing that I was guiding her to my own dark desires.

In time she learned to close her surrounding, to close out the people I let her to believe were cruel, and see only me, to trust only me, but still she saw me as her protector, her best friend. Oh how I had learned to hate that word, that loathing word that trapped me to a mask that was now breaking and my mind was more that ready to express my true self.

This was how we got through high school, her letting me guide her and me forcing my mask to stay on my face awhile longer. I finished high school one year before Kagome and finally moved out of my brother's house and moved into the apartment that I have had at my disposal since I was born. You see both of my parents are dead but before they died they left me and my brother a very, very, very high amount of money, which in truth we could live on without having to work one bit. But of course my brother, the Oh so Mighty Sesshomaru being the person that he is insisted that I get an education so one day I could run my father's company along with him, and that was what I did. I was studying business management and in a year or two I would graduate from collage and be able to actually run a company like my fathers.

Every thing so far was not so far out of proportion, but that lasted until she decided to test my insanity, to push my limits. Kagome only needed a few more months until she graduated from high school and then go to the collage of her choice, it was not until a few weeks of her graduation that she told me she wanted to go to a collage more than 10,ooo miles away from me. At that moment I felt I couldn't breath, my angel, my love was going to leave me. At that minute was when my mask broke, the last bit of will power I had left me. There was no chance in heaven or hell I was going to let her leave my side. She **_was_** going to stay with me. She **_was_** going to learn to love me .both my demon and human side agreed on one thing that we would have to stop her from leaving at all cost, and with the graduation just a few days away I had little time to think.

So I isolated myself from everyone even from her and did what a love obsessed lunatic would do, I formed a plan.


End file.
